i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
