I CAN MOONWALK!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
