dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
