He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
