oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
