Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
