chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
