Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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