My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
