Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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