im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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