No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
