Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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