Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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