no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize