You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
