i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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