it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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