Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
