So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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