i don't like sucking hair
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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