I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
