So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
