You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
nutella sex= disaster
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
