Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
