The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
