please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
