thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Non-Jews are for practice
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
