btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
