how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Randomize
