is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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