: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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