Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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