the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
