do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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