This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
