Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
