Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
