go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
