I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
