If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Michael Bay diarrhea
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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