I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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