No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
