the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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