I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
