omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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