I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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