you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
