...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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