Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
