Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize