i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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