just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
