so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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