I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
