I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
