Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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